25 at 25

I’m 25 today! Woooo!!! Finally, old enough to rent a car.

So, because I really like writing long posts that might bore the pants off you, here are the 25 most important things I’ve learned in my 25 years, in no particular order.

(Yes, I realize this isn’t a food post, but it’s my birthday and I do what I want! So there.)

1. It is easier to floss every day than be miserable at the dentist for the rest of your life.
   

   And your mouth feels awesome!

2. There’s no age when you have to decide what you want to do, or who you want to be in life.
   

   The journey is endlessly frustrating, and you’ll probably fail at a few things, but once you accept that fact, self-discovery is really enjoyable.

3. Nobody on this earth that’s worth a damn is going to notice (or care about) your love handles, cellulite, weird eyebrows, or whatever flaw you think you have.
   

   You are so much more than your body, and were not put on this earth to look like a supermodel in a bikini.

4. Your loved ones are ALWAYS more important than work.
   

   You should never, ever feel guilty about leaving the office to spend time with these people/animals. (My dogs absolutely count as my loved ones).

   

   Seriously, look how cute they are.

5. After age 22, hangovers become seriously debilitating.
   

   You’re not in college anymore, so be prepared to pay dearly for party nights.

6. There is no particular feature, trait, or activity that defines you as a woman (or man).
   

   I don’t paint my nails, have a nice hourglass figure, or enjoy clothes shopping. I drink bourbon, love sports, and dress like a lumberjack in winter. And dammit, I’m still a (kickass) woman, because I said so!

7. Blood is the least important criteria in defining family.
   

   Not talking about a family of vampires…you know what I mean.
   

8. Always keep an emergency supply of wine and good chocolate in your home.
   

   No explanation necessary.
   

9. The most beautiful people are the ones who radiate joy from every orifice.
   

   Physical beauty is, and always has been, a social construct…every time you need reminding, just watch the “Eye of the Beholder” episode of the Twilight Zone. Creepy, but with an important lesson (like going to Walmart!)

10. The kind of love you see in movies (romantic kissing in the rain, speeding to the airport to stop someone’s flight, never farting in front of each other) does not exist long term.
    

    Real love is going to Home Depot with your partner and realizing there is nobody else in this world with whom you’d rather be arguing about perennials. And it’s wonderful.

11. Drink water.
    

    Like, a buttload of it.

12. Passion is limitless.
    

    You do not have to dedicate your life to or define yourself as just one thing. If you want to be everything, you can be! I’m learning there’s nothing weird about being simultaneously very passionate about design, photography, food, nature, feminism, health, sustainability, animals, and geek culture. My twitter feed is just a little confusing.

13. Eating a good breakfast every morning will make you feel like a million bucks.
    

    Bonus points if it includes an avocado.

14. There is not a moment where a gear shifts in your brain and you automatically start feeling like an adult.
    

    It’s possible that this moment does exist and I just haven’t experienced it, but I think it’s more likely we’re all just a bunch of immature kids in bigger bodies trying to understand health insurance.

15. You’re going to have shitty days.

    No matter how optimistic, happy, or fulfilled you are, crappy things will happen. And you’ll feel terrible. Don’t resent it, just accept the situation for what it is. Binge watch Netflix, eat your favorite food, take a walk, get a hug (from human or animal), and go to bed knowing that it will be better tomorrow.

16. Don’t work through lunch.

    Food deserves your full attention. Seriously though, taking a real break from your work will make you happier and more productive.

17. Avoid internet comments.
    

    Internet commenters exist for the sole purpose of making you think the world is doomed. When you think “maybe reading the comments on this article will provide a new and intelligent point of view,” bonk yourself on the head and close the browser tab.

18. Happiness comes from within.
    

    This is not hippie nonsense, I promise. If you solely depend upon friends, family, your partner, your job, or your # of likes/followers on social media for your happiness, you’ll be quite miserable. Everyone finds themselves differently….do yoga, meditate, run, take a walk, doodle, go to the library, write, cook, dance, frolic, play music, really whatever allows you to reflect inwards and find joy within yourself. **Note: this is not easy, and is not a one-time activity.

19. Laugh your ass off.
    

    Find something that makes you nearly pee yourself laughing, and experience that thing every day. (My go-to is watching 30 Rock, reading The Onion, or hiding bubble wrap under the rugs at work).

    

20. “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”
    

    (Originally written by Michael Pollan in 2007.) Forget about fads, calorie counting, and pre-packaged “diet” foods. Eat fresh, non or minimally-processed food, and leave it at that. You’ll feel awesome, and it will show.

21. “Don’t be a dick.”
    

    This is the basis of Wheaton’s Law (as in Wil Wheaton…Wesley Crusher… from Star Trek TNG…nevermind). Basically, be nice. To everyone. Even the cable company.

22. Go outside.

    When you’re not sure what you feel like doing, always go outside. Shut the computer. Leave the phone inside. Look at the trees, flowers, clouds, stars, birds, snow, joggers, ice cream trucks, etc. Actually, I’m not sure why you’re still here reading this ridiculous list, you should go outside right now. **Unless there is life-threatening weather, like a Sharknado.
    

23. 99% of what you worry about never happens.
    

    This is a real statistic that I just made up. But really, worrying about something will never change the outcome, and the outcome is usually just fine anyway. If it’s not fine, you’ll deal with it as it comes.

24. Mom & Dad were right.
    

    About literally everything.

25. Own it.
    

    This one is my own personal mantra (yeah that’s right, I have a mantra now). Simply, own who you are, what you do, and why you do it. I’ve spent so much time apologizing for my personality, dumbing myself down, pretending to care about certain things to fit in, and defending my lifestyle and choices. You’re awesomesauce because you’re unique, and should never apologize for nor hide your individuality. All the people in your life who matter will think the sun shines out your ass, especially if you think so too.